Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
They are going to name an STD after you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
