I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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