That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
