come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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