K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
