I got chris browned last night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize