good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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