Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
