god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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