His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
