But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
