I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw a hot homeless man
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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