that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
