let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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