The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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