She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
