We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
