Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
