She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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