after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
