Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize