arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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