Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
