I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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