i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
