Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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