im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
