what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
