what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
