When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
