Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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