oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
