its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
