a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
porn star boner night. come get it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
