Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
