The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
