don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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