I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
