so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
