your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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