Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
