guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
