we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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