Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
