I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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