I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
