hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
did i just pee glitter
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
