Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
