I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
