It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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