So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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