He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
