I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
