i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
