I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
