When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
