In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
