i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize