Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I will be naked everywhere
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
