Your tits are I can't wait for
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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