Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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